


Waves

by matty_macgregor



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Adam, Dorks in Love, M/M, Oral Sex, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Top Shiro (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 06:13:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18867385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matty_macgregor/pseuds/matty_macgregor
Summary: They didn’t talk about the disease. It terrorized Takashi, the thought of losing his freedom. It terrorized Adam, too, because Takashi’s spirit would die long before his body did. He couldn’t bear the thought of this happy, gentle man slowly losing his good cheer. It seemed hardly possible, yet Adam had seen glimmers of it. During the bad days, when switching meds, after a particularly hard training session in the sims, there were signs of the unhappiness that was to come. Takashi would be withdrawn, subdued, the usual smile gracing his face turned down at the corners. Adam hated that, hated how helpless it made him feel, hated how he knew someday Takashi would withdraw too far into himself for him to reach.





	Waves

**Author's Note:**

  * For [salted_shinju](https://archiveofourown.org/users/salted_shinju/gifts).



> Hey people! Thank you for choosing to read this fic! I hope you will like it.
> 
> This is for salted_shinju who's been pestering me to write more Adam!
> 
> I got inspired by the song 'Waves' by Dean Lewis. The lyrics fit Adam and Shiro so damn much!
> 
> Please keep in mind while reading that English is not my first language and that nobody proofread this.
> 
> Enjoy!

When Adam woke up, it was still fully dark. The small bedroom’s only window showed no glimmer of early morning. He guessed it had to be two or three, far too early for him to be awake. Behind him, pressed to his back, Takashi slept on blissfully. His deep breaths tickled the back of Adam’s neck with each exhale. It was a familiar pattern that he’d grown used to over the years. He could tell whether Takashi was sleeping well or not simply by the way he breathed. His dreams were pleasant at the moment.

Adam closed his eyes, focusing on the rising and falling of Takashi’s chest against his spine. His arm felt heavy across his waist, grounding. The last few days had been difficult for him. The worsening disease, the increasing number of visits to the doctors, the complicated cocktail of medicines he had to take conspired to make Takashi either sick or feeling sick. Whenever he wasn’t busy puking his guts, his stomach was upset, his chest was burning, or he was having one of those millions possible side-effects. Despite this however, Takashi managed to go on. He had a smile for everybody, buckets of patience for the annoying cadets, and time for Adam.

Things weren’t going to get better, Adam knew. He’d had a long talk with the leading doctor of Takashi’s assigned medical team and the prognostics weren’t looking good. Takashi himself was doing great; he maintained a healthy lifestyle, a severe diet, and took his meds on time. There was no stopping the progression of the disease however. No matter the hours Takashi spent at the gym strengthening his muscles, no matter the nourishing meals Adam cooked dutifully every day, there was no stopping the disease. It marched on, inexorable like death. Adam could stand in its path all he liked, it didn’t stop for anyone, not even for desperate, devoted, loving boyfriends.

Takashi knew this. Their commanding officers knew this. Takashi’s protégé, Keith, knew it. Adam knew it.

Only Takashi accepted it. Adam felt too weak to accept it. Acceptance meant giving up the fight to him. Acceptance meant admitting he’d lose Takashi far too soon, meant that all their grand plans for the future were ruined. And, how grand the plans Adam had been cooking up for the two of them. Back when there had been a sliver of hope that Takashi would recover, back when they’d both been naïve enough to believe this death sentence could be avoided, they’d made so many great plans for their future together. Lying on the sand under the night sky, between naming the stars and exchanging kisses, they’d traced their life. It had been idealistic of course; they’d been seventeen and had known that adolescent romance rarely lasted a lifetime. Yet it had been nice being together this way, planning their future.

Now, their future stretched for no more than ten years, five of which would be good. The doctors were pretty adamant that Takashi had at least five good years left in him before his muscles’ degeneration started weakening him for good. Once it begun, it was an unstoppable downward slide. Chair-bound at first, bedbound then, Takashi’s body would grow so weak that breathing would soon become impossible.

They didn’t talk about it. It terrorized Takashi, the thought of losing his freedom. It terrorized Adam too because Takashi’s spirit would die long before his body did. He couldn’t bear the thought of this happy, gentle man slowly losing his good cheer. It seemed hardly possible, yet Adam had seen glimmers of it. During the bad days, when switching meds, after a particularly hard training session in the sims, there were signs of the unhappiness that was to come. Takashi would be withdrawn, subdued, the usual smile gracing his face turned down at the corners. Adam hated that, hated how helpless it made him feel, hated how he knew someday Takashi would withdraw too far into himself for him to reach.

He closed his eyes. It was too early in the morning for those thoughts. He didn’t want to think about it, not when Takashi was still healthy and hale.

What made things worse was that Takashi had showed some interest in the Kerberos mission. He’d read up on it. He’d talked to the higher-ups about it. He’d mentioned it in passing to Adam. Had he not been sick, Adam would have encouraged him. Takashi was the best pilot the Garrison had. Only he could pull such a feat. But not with the way he was right now. Either the mission would downright kill him or cripple him so much that his life expectancy would go from a decade to a handful of years. It would kill Adam. It would kill them both.

Heart heavy, eyes prickling stupidly, Adam shifted in Takashi’s embrace to face him. Takashi was a hugger. As soon as they got in bed, he’d snuggle close, pressing his cold toes to Adam’s legs with a grin. Adam didn’t mind much despite how he protested. There was something reassuring in being embraced lovingly, in feeling the body of the man he loved close. Even if Takashi was like a damn heater that Adam ended up sweating after five minutes of cuddling.

Reaching out, Adam gently combed Takashi’s black fringe back. The hair felt silky soft between his fingers. Takashi leaned into the touch with a small sigh that had Adam’s heart stutter in his chest. This man was like a puppy; eager and trusting and loving and oh so loyal. He behaved like one too sometimes, all too happy to obey and to please. Hell, he even _whined_ like one, a sound that should be annoying coming from a grown man yet managed to be only adorable.

Adam let his fingers trace the familiar lines of Takashi’s face, feeling comforted by the mere touch. Takashi was here and he was safe for the moment, and it was all that mattered. Whatever the future brought, they’d face it together.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when Takashi opened his eyes. Adam guiltily removed his hand, realising he’d just waken him up.

A lazy smile stretched Takashi’s lips. “Hey. You all right?”

Adam sighed. “Yes. Sorry. Go back to sleep.”

Takashi gently took his hand in his, brought it to his mouth, and kissed the tip of his fingers. “What’s wrong?”

Stupid man. Stupid, sensitive man who could guess Adam’s moods at a mere glance.

“Just thinking.”

Adam wasn’t a sap like Takashi. It wasn’t in him to shamelessly spew everything that crossed his mind. Takashi had no qualms about speaking his thoughts, had no qualms voicing his feelings. It was something Adam both envied and dreaded. Even after five years of relationship, he still couldn’t stop himself from blushing madly whenever Takashi said or did mushy stuff.

Like right now.

Takashi was always so effortlessly charming. The thing was that he didn’t even realise it. That idiotic man had absolutely no idea how charismatic he was. One smile was usually enough to get him anything he wanted. Even when he’d been a gangly, awkward twelve-year old, there had been something magnetic about his presence. Nobody had been able to resist him, not even Adam who’d been a year older and thought himself too mature to be moved by puppy-like eagerness.

He wondered what his teenaged self would think of this relationship.

“About what?” Takashi prompted.

“You,” Adam admitted, which wasn’t a lie.

He wasn’t about to say that he’d been thinking about Takashi’s death, about the trials that were to come. Looking into Takashi’s dark grey eyes still slightly hazy with sleep, he couldn’t in good conscience ruin his mood.

Takashi chuckled. “Yeah?”

Adam’s guts did something weird. He loved the way Takashi said that one word, _yeah_. He didn’t know why this particular word, didn’t know if it was the intonation in his voice. It just did. Hell, there were millions of things that Takashi did that rendered Adam a little soft in the head.

Not that he’d say so out loud.

“Thoughts good enough to keep you awake at night?”

“You’re ridiculous.”

Takashi chuckled again before pulling him in a hug. Adam resisted for the sake of it before melting into the warm embrace. He rested his forehead on Takashi’s collarbone, liking how easily they fitted together. Takashi nuzzled the top of his head, one of his hands cupping the back of his skull while the other remained planted on his hip. His hands were big and warm and reassuring and always so gentle. Adam loved that of him the most, how Takashi was a gentle giant. He’d never hurt a fly, not even in anger.

“Would you like me to help you sleep?”

The seemingly innocent question sent a shiver down Adam’s back. Tinged with slight amusement, he knew Takashi didn’t mean helping him by telling him a bedtime story. The idiot could be such a horndog when he wanted to be.

Which was nearly all the time, come to think of it.

Not that Adam minded.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Adam grumbled.

Takashi leaned back a little to look at him. His eyes were dark, his lips pulled in a smile. “Yeah.”

He’d never told him about that particular word, but he was pretty sure Takashi knew or at least suspected. Adam’s cheeks warmed. He hesitated. It wasn’t that he wasn’t in the mood, it was that they had to get up early and Takashi needed his rest. His doctors had been adamant that he needed sleep. On the other hand, judging by the hardness pressed against him, there would be no more sleep if they didn’t take care of that particular problem first.

The little smile on Takashi’s face widened. He knew he had won.

Adam kissed him after heaving an exasperated sigh. Takashi chuckled, pulling him close eagerly.

His kisses usually started up slow, but there was an urgency this time that surprised Adam. Soon the air between them grew hot and heavy. Takashi pushed the blankets back blindly to roll on top of him. Adam wrapped his arms around his neck, dragging his fingers over the shaved part of his hair. Takashi shivered against him. He gently angled Adam’s head back, deepening the kiss. Adam welcomed his tongue in his mouth, his own tongue meeting it eagerly.

Too soon Takashi pulled back to litter kisses the length of his jaw. His lips felt soft against his rough skin. He didn’t nip, didn’t leave marks that would be awkward to explain in the morning. Although everybody knew they were dating, Adam absolutely refused to flaunt it by showing up at work with his neck full of love bites.

Takashi’s mouth trailed lower, down the length of his neck, over the collarbones left exposed by the neckline of his tank top. There he allowed himself a tiny bite, knowing it could be easily hidden under a jacket’s collar. Adam’s back arched off the mattress a little. He carded his fingers through Takashi’s hair, urging him on. It didn’t matter that he liked this part; they had to get a move on if they wanted to catch a bit of sleep before they had to wake up.

Takashi wouldn’t be hurried however. One glance at Adam’s face through his fringe told him that Adam didn’t mind quite as much as he pretended. He felt Takashi’s lips pull into a smile against his skin. Takashi was happy and this stupidly turned him on more than anything else. He wanted his boyfriend to be happy, wanted to be the cause of his happiness.

Crap. He wanted to marry that guy. He’d been planning to ask but now it seemed even more urgent.

All thoughts fled his head when Takashi’s mouth reached the hem of his briefs. Adam looked down, face burning, just in time to see Takashi lowering his underwear to expose his hardening dick. He hissed a little at the cool air brushing his hot skin.

Suddenly Adam didn’t care that there was no time for this, didn’t care that they had to sleep. Takashi’s warm mouth engulfed his length eagerly, tearing a gasp from him. Adam grabbed hold of his fringe, unable to stop himself from pushing him down. Takashi was so damn good at sucking dick that it had to be a sin. One or two swipes of his tongue were usually enough for Adam’s self-restraint to melt away. It happened this time again. Takashi hollowed his cheeks and sucked lightly, and Adam’s hips thrust up. Adam bit down on his free hand, trying to muffle his whimpers (because there had been complaints from his neighbours about too much noise at night, the bastards).

Already warmth pooled in his guts, coiling tightly. He threw his head back when Takashi gave a particularly enthusiastic suck. His fingers tightened on Takashi’s hair in a way that had to be painful. If he felt it however, he didn’t mention it.

When he pulled back entirely, Adam couldn’t stop himself from groaning in disappointment. Takashi was grinning at him, licking at his lips. Gone was the puppy, replaced by the horny man who could rock Adam’s world as easily as he could pilot anything with an engine. Adam’s dick twitched in interest while his heart kicked up a notch. He knew that look, knew it meant there probably wouldn’t be any more sleep that night.

“Good?” Takashi asked with a grin.

Adam draped his arm over his eyes, face burning. This guy would be the death of him. “Y-yes.”

Takashi tugged Adam’s underwear down his legs and casually threw it over his shoulder. He slid one hand under his hip and urged Adam to roll on his belly. Adam obeyed, brain afire, refusing to admit how damn eager he’d gotten. He was still painfully hard, the previous teasing only spurring him on. He got on his hands and knees, arching his back in a way he knew Takashi liked. He heard the other’s sharp exhale, felt pride that he was causing Takashi to lose control.

“You’re so gorgeous,” Takashi whispered, one palm pressing to the small of Adam’s back.

“Hush, you stupid man,” he grumbled, hiding his face in the pillow.

No matter how often Takashi complimented him, it still embarrassed him. It always sounded so damn genuine, like he was the most beautiful thing Takashi had beheld in his entire life. Adam sure as hell knew that Takashi was the most beautiful thing he’d beheld. He simply had no idea how to tell him or how to make him understand.

Takashi pressed his lips to the skin of his back, kissing each knob of his spine one after the other. Adam shivered, hands turning to fists under the pillow. He instinctively widened his stance before curving his back a little more. The hum of approval that came with this made him gasp. He tried not to think about how hard his dick had become, nearly enough to be painful. He focused on each press of those lips, on the firm grip Takashi had on his hips to keep him from wiggling.

He twitched when Takashi’s lips brushed the small of his back before trailing lower until they reached his hole. Adam moaned, unable to stifle it quickly enough. He bit his lip, canting his hips invitingly. Takashi’s breaths were hot against his sensitive skin. He was panting also, getting worked up despite his attempts to play it cool. Adam distantly felt pleased at this.

The first lick at his hole sent a shiver through his whole body. He bit his lips, restraining a moan. He couldn’t quite let go of his self-control, not just yet. Soon however, there was no point in trying to be quiet. Takashi knew what he was doing, knew how to push his tongue in, knew how to twist it to drive Adam crazy.

Takashi pulled back a little to ease the tip of one finger in. Adam glanced at him over his shoulder; he was looking wrecked already. Despite the gloom in the room, Adam could see the flush darkening his cheeks, the gleam in his eyes, the way his hair was disheveled that made him look so roguishly handsome.

“Takashi—” he murmured, unsure what he wanted.

Takashi looked up at him immediately, eyes searching his face for any trace of discomfort. He was so sweet, so gentle, so caring. He’d stopped moving, wouldn’t start again until Adam gave his nod. His heart felt full to bursting. His dark thoughts from earlier came back with a vengeance, reminding him that their time was running out. Soon, he’d lose that wonderful man. Soon, he’d be alone again. Soon, Takashi would be in constant pain that Adam would have no way to alleviate it.

Whatever Takashi read in his features alarmed him. He immediately pulled Adam into a hug, cradling him in his arms. Adam leaned against him, let himself be comforted for once. He returned the embrace with fervour, hiding his face into Takashi’s shoulder.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Takashi asked in a low voice.

“Nothing,” Adam said, hugging him tighter. “Just happy.”

“You don’t usually look close to tears when you’re happy.”

Adam huffed out a watery laugh. “I love you, idiot.”

Takashi offered a rueful smile. “Love you too, baby.”

Adam pulled him down into a biting kiss, shoving his dread for the future at the back of his mind. Takashi was here, Takashi was safe in his arms so there was no need to fret for what was yet to come.

Takashi kissed him back with equal fervour. He gently pushed Adam back until he lied on the bed and settled between his spread thighs. Their erections had barely deflated and they both hissed when they brushed together. Adam pawed at Takashi’s pajama pants, clumsily pulling them down alongside his underwear. His dick sprung free, standing proud and clearly in need of attention. Adam wrapped his hand around it, squeezing before moving it up and down slowly in the way he knew Takashi liked best. The flesh was hot and heavy in his palm.

Adam looked up at Takashi’s face. He looked so damn gorgeous with his skin flushed and his mouth opened to pant silently. His own hand went to cover Adam’s on his dick, needlessly guiding him. Adam allowed it.

He removed his hand after a minute, not wanting Takashi to finish too quickly. And there it was, that noise at the back of the throat that reminded Adam of a disappointed puppy. He did look a bit like a puppy right now with his big dark eyes and pouty lips.

How a guy could manage to be both adorable and devastatingly handsome at the same time was beyond Adam. Love surged through him in a wave thick enough to leave him breathless.

“Come on,” he said, offering a smile.

Takashi smiled back, all straight white teeth in the gloom. He kissed him breathless, rummaging at the same time in the nightstand for the lube. There was a new fervour to his gestures that made him look all the more adorable. He was so genuine in everything he did. He was as excited as the first time they’d been together, all eagerness to please though mercifully with less awkwardness.

Adam watched him pour lube on his fingers, excitement growing inside his chest.

The first finger burned just a little. Adam knew how to relax into it, knew the slight pain would dissolve in a matter of minutes. Takashi took his time opening him. His free hand rested on Adam’s thigh, rubbing soothing circles whenever he felt him twitch. One finger became two then three. Adam was breathing hard by then, the pain long gone to be replaced by mounting pleasure. He watched Takashi work, fascinated by the minute changes in his face. He looked just as focused as when he did an exacting task, thick eyebrows lowered in a frown.

Takashi caught him staring. He lost his composure, fingers fumbling. He blushed, spluttering, asking if everything was all right. Adam had to laugh at how stupidly cute this guy was, at how stupidly in love he was.

He understood why Keith called them stupid dorks.

“Come on, I’m ready,” Adam assured.

“You sure?”

“Yes. You’re big, but you know I can take it.”

Adam didn’t engage into vulgar stuff like dirty talk, but there were days he wished he did if only to see Takashi blush.

“Adam!”

“What,” Adam shrugged, playing it cool. “It’s true.”

Takashi buried his face in his hands, embarrassed. He didn’t seem to care there was now a smudge of lube on his cheek. He mercifully rallied before Adam teased him further.

He watched Takashi pour more lube on his fingers then smear it with a hiss on his dick. Adam could tell he wouldn’t last much longer, not with the way his dick twitch at a mere touch. It was fine by him; he was already keyed up enough to know he wouldn’t last that long either.

Takashi leaned over him, noses close enough to touch. Adam could feel his warm breath caress his cheek. There was one final peck before he pushed in gently. His hands on Adam’s hips tightened as he tried to take his time. Adam might be used to him but there was no denying that he was huge. The first inch was always the most painful. Adam had to consciously relax for him to push in. He bit his lip while Takashi panted hard over him, body shaking in an effort to restrain himself.

After the first inch, the rest of the dick went in smoothly. Takashi paused once he was fully in. He lowered his head for a second, trying to even his breathing. His hair tickled  Adam’s chest while he adjusted to the stretch. It no longer hurt. He wrapped an arm around Takashi’s neck, wiggling his hips to indicate he could move now.

Takashi planted both his hands firmly on the mattress on either side of Adam’s head and began moving. He pulled back slowly before pushing in tentatively. He took his time, his eyes roaming Adam’s face to make sure he felt no pain. It was sweet if unnecessary. Adam knew urging him on would be useless so he waited patiently until Takashi was satisfied.

Once he was however, Adam was in for a treat. Takashi was never, ever rough, but there was a brutal strength he could unleash that left Adam reeling. The next thrust hit his prostate head on, making Adam see stars behind his closed eyelids. He moaned, unable to stop himself. He wrapped his legs around Takashi’s waist, trying to pull him closer. Takashi buried his face into his neck, panting hard, gasping, hips moving relentlessly.

Adam reached between their bodies to wrap his hand around his leaking dick, a whining sound escaping his throat when he began jerking himself in time with Takashi’s thrusts. Already he was getting overwhelmed, mind burning with pleasure. All he could feel was Takashi’s hard dick inside him, feel his body moving against his own, feel his hot lips kissing every inch of his skin he could reach.

“Adam,” Takashi panted near his ear, “look at me.”

It was such an ordinary request that was so difficult to obey. Adam always got stupidly overwhelmed whenever they maintained eye contact during sex. He’d come close to crying often, which had led Takashi to stop, which had led to a lot of snuggling, which had led to more sex and more tearing up—

He looked at Takashi, looked into his bottomless grey eyes that brimmed with love. There was no room for anything nor for anyone else than Adam in those eyes. Takashi saw only him, loved him only.

The next thrust undid him. Adam threw his head back as his world rocked. His orgasm tore through him like a whirlwind. Stars exploded in his mind as his back arched off the mattress. His fingers turned into claws, digging into Takashi’s back without restraint.

He came back to earth just in time to witness Takashi reaching his orgasm too. His thrusts became uncoordinated. His eyebrows lowered. His face scrunched up almost as if he were in pain. His body tensed and he came with a groan, emptying himself deep within Adam.

For the next seconds, the room echoed only to the sounds of their laboured breathing. Adam ran his fingers through Takashi’s hair, giving him time to come down from his high. Takashi slumped on him, body heavy and warm. He didn’t seem to mind that he was literally lying in Adam’s come that had spilled on his stomach.

Adam blinked. The furniture around looked fuzzy, fuzzier than could be explained by not wearing his glasses. He realised he’d teared up a little despite his best intentions not to. He blinked again, subtly wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

“You okay?” Takashi asked, voice muffled.

“Hm. You?”

“Yeah, always.”

Takashi rolled off him, lying on his side beside him and smiling. His hair was a mess, black locks poking every which way. His eyes were soft, loving. He looked so damn gorgeous haloed in the early morning light that—

Wait. _Early morning light_?

“It’s morning already?” Adam groaned.

Takashi looked at the time on his watch. “Yep, past four. Want to snuggle until we have to get up?”

Adam rolled his eyes, allowing Takashi to rest his head on his shoulder, looking to all the world like a dog wanting a pet after a good trick. Although he couldn’t see his face from this angle, he could tell he was smiling. Adam rubbed the back of his neck, feeling him melt further under his touch.

“Love you,” Takashi mumbled drowsily.

“Love you too, Takashi.”

Later that year, after Adam had proposed, Takashi told him he had been accepted for the Kerberos mission.

Same date the next year, they were breaking up.

The year after, Takashi was declared dead.

**Author's Note:**

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